The o’s in “goodness” are blueberries

"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!" (Psalm 34:8)

I’m very tiny or very gigantic, depending on how you look at everything. And I see myself travelling through a blueberry muffin. What I mean is, I’ve been trying to sleep for over an hour, but I taste the sweetness of God’s goodness and so, I can’t seem to sleep. I am departing my house at 4:45am tomorrow/today to head to the Redding airport in order to fly to Texas. I’m going to Texas as part of the ministry team for Bill Johnson while he does a series of 5 meetings at a church next to Austin. (http://www.churchofthehills.org/Bill_Johnson.html )And I would love to sleep, but I am inevitably meditating on my Father’s goodness, which is keeping me very excited and awake.

It’s like I am an itsy bitsy person inside a blueberry muffin. Yes, it’s just like that. Haha. And as I travel along, I eat the bread, which is okay, but I also chew into lots and lots of very succulent blueberries, which are astounding every time I run into them – even though it’s a constant encounter (after all, it is a blueberry muffin).

It’s His goodness, these blueberries – these unavoidable accents, these things which make the blueberry muffin a blueberry muffin, as opposed to a chunk of bread. I mean, really, what is a blueberry muffin if there aren’t any blueberries? And would anyone really desire to eat such a “muffin?”

I can’t separate God from His goodness. His gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooodness. All those o’s are blueberries.

Sometimes His goodness keeps me up at night. And up at day too. Haha.

A couple weeks ago I was in Michael’s, the craft store, and I saw a hunched woman pushing her cart. I approached her and asked her what was wrong with her back. Pretty quickly she was crying and telling me about her father’s death and the deteriorating illness torturing her back and the rest of her bones. We talked for about 20 minutes: about hope and God and life and purpose. Her eyes opened and shut in awe, like a manual garage door that won’t stay up. We talked about dreams she has. And I got to pray for her back and her right leg, which was a center of pain. A lot of the pain left her leg, which she thought was really outstanding and then she said, “I think I am standing up straighter!” I laughed hard. Sometimes when people get healed it’s like you told the punch line to the joke, but the person didn’t get it until sometime later. When that person gets it, you laugh even harder, because the epiphany of truth looks so beautiful on them. “Wow, that truth looks so good on you! It really brings out your eyes!” I asked the woman if I could hug her and she very merrily accepted. She said something about the meeting making her day and her life looking up again, and then she said she would go the Healing Rooms at Bethel that Saturday for more healing prayer. That punch line really got her good. HAHAHAHAHAHA! GOOD. And sweetly, after the pain significantly left her leg I could tell she suddenly thought that the rest of what I’d said was probably true as well – the bit about God and life and purpose – because God demonstrated His goodness by tracking her down in Michael’s.

What a lovely blueberry.

Also about a week ago I saw a man in a wheelchair outside a building in Redding. I made eye contact with him and said, “hi.” He smiled back, but I saw tears creeping up in his thunderstorm eyes. “What’s going on?” I said, walking toward him. “I’m dying,” he answered, rain clouds in his soul darkening. “What do you mean?” I asked. “My heart is detaching from the rest of my body and the doctors say I’ll probably die soon” he abruptly responded. “Well, that’s ridiculous,” I said, looking him in the eyes, pushing back the darkening with the violent light inside me. “I’ve seen lots of people healed of lots of things. Do you want me to pray for you?” I asked. The clouds in his eyes dissipated, as if he was presented a new option he had not considered. “Yes” he said. And I prayed. And I asked him how he felt. He told me he felt much better, like maybe his life would be long. I told him everything changed that day, it was a new year and he would live in full health. I explained that I had to go because I had an appointment to keep, but I blared sunlight into his sky with the words, “You are incredible. You are going to have an incredible life” and then I clapped and cheered for him. And I went inside.

What a wonderfully sweet blueberry.

Recently I had to call my internet provider because we were having technical problems with our internet service. After about 20 minutes of back-and-forth about our internet connection, we resolved the problem. She said, “Is there anything else I can do for you today?” I responded, “Well, this might seem odd, but do you have a son?” “Yes…” she responded, not knowing what else to say. “And are you having difficulty with him lately and you don’t know what to do?” “Yes, how did you know that?” she said, her voice growing hushed and shaky. “Sometimes God shows me things about people and I feel like God wants to encourage you that He is moving in your son’s life. Even though you  feel stuck, God is bringing order. And God has a purpose for your son. I see him drawing and He hasn’t found the right use for his drawing yet, but soon he will be at a youth center teaching others to draw.” The woman began to cry. “My son is 16 and he has autism and just this morning we had a huge argument and I don’t know how to deal with him anymore. I was just asking God today for some direction or something because I feel like I can not do anything to help him and I feel overwhelmed because I am working so much and his father isn’t around anymore and it’s so hard for me to raise him alone.” “Wow” I said, feeling every high and low point in both w’s, compassion buckled me in like a seatbelt. I told her I knew of autism being healed and I asked if I could pray for her son. She leapt from weary mom voice to strong mother hen voice, “Yes! Please!” I prayed for her son and prophesied over his life. She cried and said, “I just don’t see how you know all these things…” “It’s just God. He shows me things about people He wants to encourage. He wants you to know you are a great mom and He loves you and your son very very much; and hope is real.”  I told her a story from the Bible and she said she would look it up later. Our conversation lasted about 15 minutes and by the end she had transitioned from a faceless customer service operator to a courageous mother who was holding out hope for her teenage son to find fullness in life. I was honored to “meet” her. We exchanged names and thanks and laughs and said our goodbyes.

What a sensationally serendipitous blueberry.

I am really in love with God. His goodness stains my tongue blue; the more I taste Him the more I speak Him. The more I speak Him the more I love Him. He is good, exquisitely, scrumptiously, lavishly goooooooooooooooooooooooood.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm… yum yum. Good night, everyone. Blueberries! hahaha.

THANKSGIVING and VISION: What’s where I am and how I’ve been in love all the way

Where is usually more tied to journey than what.

When you look at the flight board at an airport you see city names, not what the places are known for.

London isn’t “Posh / gate A37 / 10:42” and Delhi isn’t “Vibrant: gate D4 / 18:38”

And when you get to the gate the flight attendant welcomes you to the gateway to your destination, not the contents of it. He doesn’t say, “Enjoy your trip to Atlanta. You will find a great bookstore with an elephant statue that makes you laugh and think of your fourth grade trip to the zoo. Then you will think about the idea that ‘elephants are forgetful.’ You will wonder if that’s true, which will make you think about forgiveness. When you think about forgiveness, you’ll think about your mom; you’ll be grateful parents usually demonstrate great perseverance with their children, and then you’ll think of Jesus and how He alone makes real forgiveness and real redemption possible. And your heart will flutter remembering the way He takes your breath away, feeling the squeeze of His love on your shoulder there alone in a bookstore in Atlanta. You are only in Atlanta for a seven hour layover, but by the time you leave, you’ll be ready for an experience you will have eight months from now when that epiphany in Murphy’s Books in Atlanta will be used to bring peace between two of your married friends. The revelation in the bookstore, the one that starts with the elephant statue, will lead to a revelation in your friends’ marriage which will lead to newness in her parents’ marriage, which will lead them to start a course for married couples at their church in Illinois, which will become a curriculum which within 2 years will be in 43 churches in Illinois and one in Michigan. That marriage course will restore and enliven marriages in 44 churches within two years.”

The attendant simply says, “Enjoy your trip to Atlanta.” And the word “Atlanta” gives no indication of the realities alive and waiting in that place. There is more than meets the eye.

We are all on a journey. There is much more than what appears – more than names and wheres, there are whats and whose. As we fly, walk, hike, and rest we all move forward toward the future. We choose daily how to direct our experiences, how to respond to our circumstances, and whether our trip to “Atlanta” is just a trip to Atlanta or if it’s moving toward something – at the least a serendipitous blessing, at the most a pivotal epiphany that grows who we are and readies us for the destiny ahead. Living with intentionality is powerful – expecting that even a “chance” moment in a bookstore might lead to transforming lives is part of living a hope-charged life.

I believe in vision.

I believe in purpose.

Since I was 16 I have burned with a few primary dreams.

One began in hours alone weekly on my floor praying for the Middle East.

One began in the book “Azusa Street” by Frank Bartleman.

One is the fusion of those two, born of passion and long talks with the One who first created and dreamed.

The Middle East will FLOURISH:  she will live in peace, abundance, hope, and LOVE for her savior. I have championed the Middle East and believed for her fullness of destiny with an otherworldly fuel for 15 years now.

Every tongue, tribe, and nation will fall in love with Jesus and signs and wonders will be normal on earth as they are in heaven. My vision for revival has led me by the heart with the words I clearly remember crying into the light green carpet in my teenage bedroom: “I have to have revival or I will die.”

I will be a key part of building and transforming nations – entire nations. I do not mean making them so-so, relatively peaceful, decently prosperous, and moderately happy. I MEAN WHOLE NATIONS IN LOVE WITH JESUS: creative, free, healthy, doing “impossible” things constantly, redefining every realm of society with HEAVEN: family, religion, economy, education, government, arts & media, and science & technology. And the infusion of those things, the reality that I am meant for a purpose infinitely more than what I see , has kept me on track and inspired and willing to sacrifice ever since then. I am too in love to move from the vision the Holy Spirit sparked in me back when no one knew the dreams germinating in me.

I have seen it. I can not let go. For fifteen years, I have seen it. I have tasted it.

Vision will inflame you to do things you don’t want to do.

Vision will quicken you into discipline and a love for divine order.

Divine order is meant to GIVE freedom, not control you. It’s meant to make space for love, not take it away. People often think of order as legalism and limitation – that’s not heaven’s idea. Eden reflected order, like the tabernacle of Moses, and like the temple Solomon built; and like the heavenly Jerusalem.

Vision will keep you steady, focused, and joyful.

In Hebrews 12:2 it reads,

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

For THE JOY SET BEFORE HIM endured the cross.

His sacrifice was infused with vision for what was to come – for what that single action was creating a foundation for.

His love for joy and His love for us compelled him to create an infrastructure for more joy. The price He paid set up an entire system of salvation and redemption and re-unification with God and WHOLENESS.

Vision will knit you to supernatural patience, peace, and laughter.

Vision will move you across the country, the city, the world, and back again – if necessary.

Vision will give you the courage to smile when your journey looks like wandering to those around you.

Vision will become an immovable chunk of granite love – something that makes you happy to pay close attention to how much the apples cost so you can save a little money; something that gives you peculiar delight when you walk from inside a building to a rainy sky and you think of RAIN in a desert far away that yearns for rain and how you KNOW the RAIN is coming; something that magnetizes you with desire in moments to go through the drawers of your life and find something, anything else you can glorify Jesus with. haha. “Hey God, I’m going to draw a happy face on my rent check because I’m so tickled that I get to pay rent, live in a free country, and one day see entire nations give you their own little happy faces. haha.”

Vision, real vision, the kind that is so saturated in Jesus, you can not separate it from Him, nor would you every think to, will make you mad – like crazy mad, but in a perfectly crazy way.

I once heard a quote, “Do you know anyone who changed the world who wasn’t at least a little crazy?”

And “If people don’t laugh when you tell them your dreams, you aren’t dreaming big enough.”

And “If you can complete your dreams without supernatural help, you need to expand your dreams.”

Vision will also grow in you maturity to know how much of the vision to share when and with who. Vision will make the waiting worth it. Vision will make the process an honor, and as much a destination as the “destination.” Sarah and Abraham had their promise for Isaac, they tried a shortcut through Ishmael, and that did not go well. Still, Isaac came and Abraham with the wife “beyond childbearing years” became a FATHER OF NATIONS. And, to think, Sarah LAUGHED when God told her that promise. NOW that is the mark of a good dream, it is kissed with “impossibility.”

I’m going to write more snippets of dreams of mine, at least loosely framed, in an upcoming blog, but I’m not at a point where I feel it’s time to go into much depth. I have learned supernatural resolution via holding closely the secrets of God until the right time. And many secrets will always be secrets. Having said that, there is a fresh stirring in me to share some of what I am learning about vision, establishing infrastructure in one’s life for longevity, the rewards of focus, and the courage it takes to be YOU excellently. Mostly, YOU are the only human who will ever know how much flourishing you live in – one person flourishes when he sets aside an hour to read a history book every week, one person flourishes when he dares to tell a friend “no”, one person flourishes when she truly believes the paintings she does are beautiful, one person flourishes when she becomes radical enough to take responsibility for her own life daily, one person flourishes when he steps out and prays for a stranger, one person flourishes when she moves to Denmark and opens a home for homeless youth.

You must know what you burn for.

You must know you can walk toward your fears and destroy them.

You must know nothing is impossible.

You must know you were made to have vision, to dream, and to fulfill that vision.

You must know that change is possible. You can do it.

You must know you are powerful, to change your life and to change the world.

You must know you are amazing.

You must know you can love YOURSELF, just like Jesus LOVES you.

You must know THANKFULNESS is key;

and vision will provoke you to be thankful for everything from clean water to your friend’s eyelashes.

You will see potential, grace, love, and impossibility made possible in every thing.

Ahhhh… as the day of thanksgiving slips itself around your life today, be blessed with vision.

As you look at the incredible people around your table, on your welcome mat, in your arms – welcome to the world of vision. Be encouraged to dream. Jesus saw all that goodness when He was headed cross-ward. God saw YOU when He spoke the universe into being.

YOU were His vision.

And what an ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL AND INSPIRING VISION YOU ARE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were created to be creative.


For some vision-casting, I recommend these books:

http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Mountain-Prophecy-Johnny-Enlow/dp/1599792877

http://www.amazon.com/Reformation-Manifesto-Change-Nations-Today/dp/0764205021

“If you just touch my hand with one finger, they will get scared and leave!”

If you just touch my hand with one finger,

they will get scared and leave!”

or “If you know where the snake lives, go to his hole and kill him.”

or “Jesus is powerful and so are you.”

or “Get radical. Transform your city with Love.”

(30 days of Library Park)

I have been on a thirty day adventure of loving people with Jesus in Redding.

Welcome to Library Park.



We all want advocacy. We’re all books in God’s library. And we are all meant to be “checked out.” Our stories should be known and celebrated. Haha.

At the beginning of September I began to have sudden flash visions of myself preaching on a stage in a park in Redding. It seemed to be unfounded. I don’t recall having the idea prior and really, the very word “preaching” has made my skin recoil for most of my life – I think because I unfairly associated the word with pushy men who didn’t relate to their audience, but through guilt and emotionalism persuaded desperate people to choose to “follow” God – some making sincere decisions to follow, others more moved by the pleas and pressure. Even in seminary, where there were many truly gifted preachers, the word “preaching” made me feel ill at ease.

And yet, there I was, chasing myself with these pictures. Or, at least, the Holy Spirit chasing me with myself. Ha. The picture would appear in worship, in class, and while driving around Redding.

One day I was in class and as the speaker asked a question like, “What is something new this year will be about for you?” I instantly heard, “preaching” – from somewhere outside myself, like one of those jester puppets who jumps into a dramatic moment in a puppet show with an outlandish comment and a far too ecstatic and red smile on his face.

I was coming to terms with it. And I realized where the park I kept seeing in this picture was: it was Library Park downtown – a small grassy area with a stage and a sidewalk around the perimeter. It’s a place that hosts many outdoor events in the summer: outdoor markets, art fairs, and a weekly farmer’s market. It’s across from the central bus station and thus, it has many passerbys – often homeless folks, drunk folks, and wanderers. It’s a perfect place to linger with the lingerers. So, I needed to prepare myself for the idea of preaching in Library Park. The idea of publicly preaching overseas didn’t surprise me at all, but preaching in the states? Wow, Holy Spirit, this is a side of myself I have to meet.

Then on Thursday, September 16, the second week of school, I had a meeting with a team I was going to minister with in Vallejo that weekend. The trip leader, who also happens to be my revival group pastor and the Prophetic Arts Pastor at Bethel, said she had a prophetic act for me. She placed a music stand in front of me and said, “Dawn, this is your year to preach.” I laughed. Wow, God was calling me out in public. How very, um, public.

So, that day as I drove home from school at 5:30pm I strongly felt, “I have to go there right now.” And I did. I took my Bible and I got on the stage. I read Isaiah 60 and 61 at full volume as if there was a crowd of hundreds. I proclaimed it over my city, REDDING – a city that belongs to my King.

As I read it I was overwhelmed with images of people coming to Jesus there at the park – like Jesus himself was reading the famous passage. I began to cry. I saw Him healing people, casting out demons, looking deep into the eyes of the homeless, the hopeless, and the abandoned. He was calling people into His heart with His eyes. He was telling them He was their advocate and He would stand by them. He would restore them. He was showing me the way. And I was falling in love with Him all over again. I saw why He drew crowds. I saw the uniqueness of His advocacy. I saw the fearlessness of His Presence.

And I told him I would come. I would come to Library Park and love people. I would see people saved, healed, and delivered. I would step out in boldness. I committed myself to come for an hour from 6:30-7:30pm a couple times a week on my own until my birthday: October 16. I wouldn’t tell anyone I was going. It would be my secret hangout time with Jesus and His loved ones. After that month passed I would tell others, and a few would be ignited with vision to join in. In time it would grow, by word of mouth, people would bring friends to the park to be made whole and to have the lights in the houses of their dreams turned on.

That day I felt like the Lord told me to wait until 6:33pm before leaving.

Fittingly, He has been showering me with 6:33 lately – I catch the clock unintentionally at 6:33, phone numbers, receipts, license plates, street numbers with 633 often suddenly catch my attention. It’s a constant reminder of Matthew 6:33 “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you.” The Holy Spirit is training me to really make the most important thing, the most important thing.

So, that day, I waited.

At 6:33 on the dot a man with a cane walked into the park. I hopped off the stage and zipped over, asking if he wanted prayer for healing. I don’t remember exactly what happened, but I think he opted not to have prayer, but he was touched I asked. And hey, the blessing of someone caring enough to offer to pray for you is often a very loud blessing. And it’s an act of love you walk away thinking about – maybe even for days, or weeks.

That was that. It had begun – the adventure of Library Park. An adventure with all the books, the stories, the histories, the futures that would come down from the shelf and be read, and be cherished, and be celebrated. Who would be there? What outrageous beauty would rain from heaven?

I’m excited about this new frontier. And very happy to see Redding fall in love with my beautiful bridegroom Jesus.

Here are some stories. Snippets from lives worth being restored. Scenes from lives BEING restored.

Friday September 17

Percy: 76, walked with a walker because of equilibrium problems. Equilibrium HEALED. He said he didn’t think he needed the walker anymore, but maybe he would keep it around because it also served as portable chair. (Does that change it from a walker to a sitter?)

Steve: in his 40’s, 42 days from the end of almost ten years of parole

Steve had an elbow brace on. He had elbow replacement some time ago. He had a lot of pain. I prayed and the pain left. Then he explained he got Valley Fever in 1995 and he has had pain in all his joints since then. I prayed. All the pain left all his joints. He said it was the first time since 1995 he was pain free. We talked about his dreams and his new start. We talked about ways he might find work, his desire to visit Louisiana and see some of his people there. He wants to work in an autobody shop. He also wants to go overseas, but he is concerned that his felony will limit his ability to travel.

After a while he mentioned how the park is dodgy at night. He told me to be careful and he began talking about meth. He said it’s worse than anything else and there is so much of it in Redding. People get away from their brains and they don’t even know the things they do. He has to stay away from all the drug stuff so he doesn’t slide back into it. He said there should be more people like me. He felt really encouraged that there was still hope, that God really does love him, and that he can still have a wonderful life. He left around 7:30 to find somewhere to sleep for the night.

Guy on a smoke break from a bar nearby: so happy to have back pain diminish he gave me $4. Initially, I resisted taking it, but then I remembered I had mentioned to God earlier that day that a few extra dollars for gas for the ministry trip the next day would be helpful. I certainly didn’t think it would come from someone in the park!

Tuesday, September 21

Lester: Native American, drunk, in his 50’s. I felt like God wanted me to ask him about his uncle so I did. He said he had five, but they were all hit by cars. His father was also killed by a car. He began to cry. He said, “I have so much hatred in my heart. I have so much hatred in my heart. I have so much hatred in my heart.” I asked if he wanted to be free. He said, “no.” Then I commanded the other voices to be silent and only Lester to speak. Lester wept. He was up and down emotionally. I commanded things to leave him. He seemed to feel better and even began to laugh.

I felt God prompt me to ask him what happened to him when he was three. He immediately said that his auntie started molesting him then. He cried and shook. Soon afterward he said, “I hate myself. I hate myself.” I told him God wants to set him free and those things should not have happened to him, but God is the only one who can heal his broken heart. I asked if he wanted God to set him free. He consented and prayed, “God I want you to come in and fix my heart. Jesus, I want you to come live in my heart.” He got peaceful. Eventually, he got riled up again. When we parted, there was a clear shift in his confidence. I look forward to seeing him again, clarity in his eyes and hope in his heart.

Wednesday, September 22

Monty

He is in Redding for cancer treatment, originally from Montana. His mom died when he was nine, his dad left, his grandma couldn’t look after him and his siblings (3 sisters, I think) so, he was on his own from 9 years old! He was a POW in Vietnam for twelve years! His wife, two kids, and three hired workers died in a car crash in 1969. He gave his land and money to the families of the hired workers and left Montana for the southwest. He has been in Redding one year. He said he wants to do what God has for him. I commanded the cancer to leave his body. He felt warm like when he was 11 and after a police officer beat him, He felt God’s arms come around him and hug the pain away.

Kimberly

She was walking with a crutch due to chronic arthritis in her right knee. I prayed and the pain lessened and she felt like it was “better.” They wanted to go on their way to the post office. Her boyfriend had a titanium knee so I commanded a new one to come forth. He was encouraged and I think he would have been happy to receive more prayer, but Kimberly was on her way.

Percy

76 year old Percy again. He remembered me. He said, “I know you aren’t hustlin’ you are the real deal. A real believer.” I laughed. He said, “Really, lots of people down here are hustlin’ everybody…” He told me more of his story: grew up in Visalia working cotton fields, got his first cocaine at 16 from Fresno (ironically, my hometown). It was downhill from there: married at 21, addicted to cocaine, couldn’t support his habit, ended up in the pen for 5 years. His wife and son left him. From then he was in and out of prison every few years. He eventually avoided cocaine, but now seems addicted to alcohol. I asked him, “How long after your son left today was it before you were drunk?” He admitted that as soon as his son left his house that afternoon he got drunk. He said “Two shots is what I need, and the good Lord knows it, to be more me.” I told the spirit of alcoholism to go and not speak, for only Percy to speak. He was silent for the first time in our conversation. He became very still. Then he said, “Thank you” as he lifted his head. I asked him if he wanted to be free. He didn’t answer. I told him only God can really set him free. God wants to set him free, to give him a new start. I laughed and thanked Jesus for freedom. “Percy, do you feel that? The peace that came?” He unsteadily said, “No.” I think he was sensing something new, but he didn’t know what it was. Hello, HOLY SPIRIT!

My thoughts: I’d like to see people made instantly sober in my presence. I’d like to see the glory set people free without words. I’d like to see them see Jesus as I stand there. I’d like them to see love.

I feel like I don’t even know how to love. As I linger with these people, listen to their stories, speak truth, and heal them, I want so much more love and compassion.

As I speak prophetically into lives I defeat the darkness in Redding and I claim this city for the KING. I won’t be silenced. I will shout it from the rooftops!

Father, I trust you. I will see more of you. I will be pulled up into your life-giving Presence. I will never be the same. I will see things unspeakable and breathe things made of substance. I will breathe faith like oxygen and it will train me for earth. I will go to heaven and get the blueprints. I will laugh forever. I will never stop going higher. I love you, God. I open my spirit to be more aware of the power, authority, and fullness within me.

I love you. I want to know you fully. This is worth more than anything.

The week of September 25-29

Little Bear and White Owl, something like that. I should have written it down that day. They were together, a man about 40 and a woman probably in her mid-fifties. They were extremely drunk.

They collapsed on the grass so I plopped myself down next to them and began to chat.

Pretty soon I asked Little Bear if he wanted to be free, truly free. He looked at me and said, with sudden clarity, “There are lots of demons in me that torment me every day…” “Yes, I know,” I responded, having seen the demons from the moment I sat in the grass. “Do you want to be free?” “Yes, PLEASE!” he exclaimed desperately, now giving me his full attention. I commanded the demons to go. “There, some are going,” he said, “but there are still more!” he pleaded. He reached his hand out to touch mine. “I don’t want you to touch me right now,” I said. He became more desperate, “If you just touch my hand with one finger, they will get scared and leave,” he was on the brink of tears. I touched his hand and commanded them to go. More went. His body relaxed. “There, they are going!” he was getting happy.

White Owl got defensive. She was losing control. I sensed it. Her eyes already told me about her own covenant with demons. She began to stir through her semi-slumber, nudging Little Bear that they should leave. “No! She is setting me free! She’s REALLY getting demons out of me!” he insisted. She looked at me, lethargically telling me to stop. “He’s getting set free,” I said, matter-of-fact. She grumbled, “Let’s  go!” He moved, “No, I want these demons out of me!” he whimpered. “Jesus wants you 100% free, you know that, right?” I asked. “Yes, yeah,” Little Bear admitted. “You know you can give him your life and He’ll bring total freedom?” “Yeah,” he said, getting hungry for freedom. White Owl was growing angry. She scooted away and began kissing Little Bear to distract him. He momentarily resisted, whining like a little boy; then he collapsed into the stupor and let her drag him across the grass. I sat there, knowing my presence was still His Presence and I wasn’t going to give in to awkwardness, but rather, remain and worship.

Man on my right (I forgot his name.)

Besides, there was another man who sat down to my right. We talked. He wondered how I could “command” things out of people. “Who are you to command anything?” he said, demanding. I laughed merrily. “I’m God’s daughter. Jesus is in me. My authority comes from Him.” He was mad and accusatory for a few minutes, demanding that I leave. It’s amusing to have a man in his fifties sitting within a couple feet of you, drunk, start to yell and tell you what to do. As he moved toward me I said confidently, “I don’t want you to touch me.” He looked at me, and stopped inching. Haha. It’s especially funny when you have heaven’s perspective – you know intimidation has no hold on you. That patch of grass is my Dad’s. Besides, I love this irritated, drunk guy. He wants an advocate just as much as the sweet five year old girl who lives next door to me.

In the spirit, I’ve got just as much Jesus-security as a 7’ bodybuilder guy who follows Jesus. I’m not going to be intimidated – not by things seen or unseen.

So, I stayed. And the man backed down, soon admitting that I was kind for wanting to be with people and that, “well, maybe, you’re alright.”

I’ll take “all right.”

We talk about how Jesus’ love is radical. I ask the man how long he has been addicted to alcohol. His story comes out. I tell Him he can be set free instantly. He’s interested, but not so much today. In time, he truly thanks me for talking and “being who you are” and goes on his way.

Man on planter:

I’m so drunk on Jesus, and Little Bear and White Owl are still making out. It seems like a perfect time to walk the perimeter of the park and sing worship songs loudly. I make a few loops, singing at the top of my lungs – to the fascination of a few people who pass through the park and the elderly man on the planter at the edge of the park. I wave at him each time I pass. Then we start talking. I pray for his heart condition. We talk about his hopes for his future, the bridges he’s burned, the ones he wants to create. He seems pretty committed to apathy, and my passion for life bothers him. That is so often the case when someone has walked a series of rough circumstances. That is why it is even more important not to back down, but to be an advocate for the hopeless. People need their dreams nudged and tugged to their feet.

Everyone wants an advocate. It’s time for the church to stop giving trite answers to people. It’s time for them to really be with people and encourage them into the greatness God has for them. It’s time to change the world – one person or one billion people at a time. Haha.

The man goes inside because it’s time to take his medication. Aw, the rule of “this and that” in our lives. We let the enemy boss us around and then we wonder why we feel powerless. We “have” to take this or that medication, or not eat this or that food due to allergies etc, or even we “have” to watch this tv show, or we “have” to have a daily cup of coffee to function. Haha. Really? It sounds like a lot of dependency on things that aren’t God to me. Maybe some of those things are okay, but when they “have” to be part of one’s routine, particularly more than God’s Presence, something is off-kilter.

All to say, I keep circling the park and singing my own made-up worship songs. “Redding belongs to Jesus” “Drunk people fall in love with Jesus in my presence” “Little Bear is free” “Everyone in Redding is alive to Christ and dead to sin” (that’s one of those “proclaim the future” lines) “Library Park will soon be filled with saved, healed, delivered people!” “lalalalalala… I’m so happy and Jesus loves me and I can do anything, my whole house is great!” The more I sing absurdly realistic things, the more lovestruck I get.

Eventually, Little Bear and White Owl leave.

The Argentinean:

And in walks a drunk Argentinean with an Italian accent. He wants some of my water (woman at the well reminder, anyone?) I point to the water fountain and I say something similar to what Jesus said about living water, so he’ll never thirst again – and living wine, to replace whatever he’s usually drunk with. He thinks this is interesting. And when I ask if he has pain in his body, he immediately laughs and says, “My shoulder is always in pain!” He starts to tell me the history- I interrupt him with, “Well, let’s just fix that right now.” And after about 15 minutes of gradual improvement: less pain and more mobility, there is NO PAIN and full mobility! YES! In fact, now he is moving his arm in a wildly circular motion and yelling, “This is amazing! I couldn’t do this before! No! Really!” And he laughs and laughs. It was like a puppy discovering the possibilities in a cardboard box. He was fascinated by his own arm. The things it could do!!!!!!

“Bobby”

A man on a bike stopped on the other side of the park and stared at us. “This man’s shoulder just got healed!” I said, “Do you have anything that needs to be healed?” He stared back- angry, a strange territorial anger. I walked over to him and stuck my hand out. “Hi, I’m Dawn. What’s your name?” I asked. He reluctantly shook my hand. His name was something like “Bobby” – unfortunately, I’ve forgotten since then. He looked at me charged with hostility and looking ready to pounce, with icy eyes and icy thoughts behind his eyes. “In whose name are you doing all this?” I began to laugh. “Oh, here we go,” I thought, “I know what’s coming next…” “Jesus’ name,” I smiled. “Oh yeah?” he said, leaning toward me expecting me to back up. “Yes.” I said, not moving. “I think it’s demons,” he said. I began to laugh harder. Something tickles me so deeply when demonic influence accuses itself. I’ve seen it so many times – the split second “personality” shift. Demons seem to get competitive and chaos-craving. And it’s obvious when someone’s face changes from a normal human expression to a twisted expression there is more than meets the eye. It would be so silly for me to be disturbed by such silliness. And there is a HUGE difference between speaking with authority like that noted of Jesus in Matthew 7:29 “he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law” and being controlling in the sense of witchcraft. I am very unimpressed with the latter. It’s all smoke and mirrors compared to the Lamb on the Throne who alone is worthy to open the scroll.

Anyhow, “Bobby” tried to stare me down. And I laughed and started to dance and worship God, saying, “God’s so great! He just healed that man’s shoulder!” I find few things more irresistible than giving God credit when someone tries to diminish it or pollute His beautiful character. It’s like when I would hear Muslims say “If God wills it” with regard to something like having a safe trip home. Instantly, my heart felt God’s love and security which made the idea of not having a safe trip home seem utterly ridiculous. Haha. I could feel the Father’s love for “Bobby” coming to cleanse him. Bobby was confused by my joy and turned to leave. “I’m here a few times a week from 6:30-7:30 so, I’ll probably see you again. You’re awesome, Bobby!” I said loudly as he rolled away. He was disarmed by my love and my raised arms cheering him on. And that, my friends, was priceless. Love is powerful. It will disarm the biggest dissenters and calm the most threatening enemies.

That is one thing I learned doing ministry in the mental hospital (which I renamed “The Freedom Castle”) in Bethlehem – when darkness tries to stare you down, get childlike and ridiculously joyful. Think of how excited Heaven is for that person to begin to feel real Love!!!! Dance! Sing songs to God! He’s the ultimate audience for our lives! He loves it when we simply turn our attentions toward Him as cranky darkness strives to get attention and bring people into gloom and doom.

Laugh off the mean faces, and SHINE on.

Friday, October 15

Really, I felt pretty lousy that day. I didn’t want to go anywhere. In response to this, I went into my backyard and cranked up some worship music and danced, inviting my housemate in on the action. Haha. We worshipped together for about 45 minutes. When you don’t know what else to do, WORSHIP.

Then I went to the park. I felt like I heard the name “Bernie” in the car on the way.

Henry

It turned out it was “Henry” – close. Ha. If you want to learn to hear from God more and more clearly you have to be willing to be wrong or not quite right sometimes. Haha.

Henry has three kids. He loves being a dad. Why? “It’s great to be loved – unconditionally,” he said. It’s interesting how we see things – receiving love, giving love. The value we place, either cognitively or subconsciously on relationships. Henry didn’t have any pain in his body so we talked about his family – how he’d recently broken up with his girlfriend and the mom of his two younger kids after ten years. We talked about how God values relationships and family; and we talked about what he did when he first won that woman’s heart and how he might be able to win it again if he really went after it. Henry said, “Are you a counselor?” I laughed, “Well, I did study counseling, but really I just love seeing people know who they are and be all they are designed to be. It’s really fun.” He liked that and we talked on and off for an hour.

Tom

In the midst of that was Tom, who was sitting on a bench next to a table. He gave me gummy worms and talked about the interesting items he sees at his job at The Salvation Army. Tom also didn’t have any pain in his body, but he does have a dream to work on a cruise ship. He agreed he would go look into finding a job on a cruise ship in the next week. Haha. He was getting really elated about the possibility of his dreams coming true! HOORAY!

They asked when I come to the park and I said, “A couple times a week between 6:30 and 7:30.” They thought that was pretty amazing and they were intrigued that people are getting healed and also stepping into their dreams. YES! God is powerful. And He’s alive!

The next day was my birthday.

And thus concluded month one in Library Park.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this, the second year students at Bethel had our first outreach/activation training. Chris Overstreet, the outreach pastor at Bethel, spoke. At one point he said, “There is a new openness for street preaching in Redding now.” I yelled and laughed. Yes, there is. And I am moving toward that. Then he said he was calling out the forerunners, I found myself on my knees yelling for Redding, and yelling: “I want to do more than I am comfortable with, more than I’ve ever imagined, more than I can think. I WILL BE FEARLESS AND I WILL DO THE IMPOSSIBLE. I will lead Redding to Jesus!” I could feel the desperation of people in the city to truly KNOW the Living God. And I was overrun with LOVE and passion for that to happen.

A way is being made in Library Park. And Jesus and I are going to have a blast as we continue to go every week: healing, casting out demons, awakening dreams and getting them on their feet, counseling people into jobs and purpose, laughing much more than reasonable, and generally being an advocate to those who are longing, deeply deeply longing that someone ANYONE would stop what she is doing and listen, and care.

There are people that are broken and still breaking, in your city right now. They don’t think they deserve eye contact. They don’t think they deserve a good future. They don’t think they will ever get out of the rut they are in, often the rut they feel they were born in. They mainly want something to numb the pain, the self-hatred, the loneliness, the despair, and the confusion. They are scared that they will never “amount to anything.” They are afraid they will never be able to be free. They wish someone would do something – they long for someone who will care enough to CARE.

They aren’t just homeless people. The man next to you at work. The cashier who looks like she has the worst job in the world and she wants you to know how she feels about that. The lawyer you stand next to in the elevator. The grandma who is indecisive about which lettuce to buy in the grocery store. YOUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR.

And then there is a man named JESUS. He changed everything.

Will you?

For HIS Name’s sake… will you?

p.s. I’m going to let you in on a secret that the enemy doesn’t want you to know: The more you step out and love those around you, the more you give, especially when you don’t “feel” like it, the less self-focused you will become and YOUR whole life will become easier and more joy-filled. You will see strength and breakthrough come into your life beyond your imaginings. The enemy doesn’t want you to know that because he wants to keep you anxious and fearful in part by over-analyzing your own life. If he can get you to fixate on your car problems, your relational struggles, or your financial issues, you will become paralyzed by lies and robbed of joy, too “tired” to stick up for the truth in your own life, much less anyone else’s. Don’t let that happen. LAUGH in the enemy’s face (literally: think about something that looks like a wall in your life RIGHT now and laugh at it, you can force the laughter initially, but soon real laughter will take over. There you go, now you are getting in sync with heaven’s perspective!) It’s your responsibility to believe that everything Jesus said is true, for example: John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Commit yourself to only believe TRUE things. Guard your heart. And live in ABSURD abundance. An abundant life is MUCH MORE FUN than a boring life. And it’s what Jesus paid for. hahahahahahahahahahaha!

I am smiling hugely RIGHT now because I believe in WHO you are and I want you to live abundantly. : D

Healing Hands – testimony banner

At retreat, my revival group made a banner of healing testimonies we saw THIS SUMMER!!!!

Here are some highlights from the banner:

I wrote this one. haha!

It is wonderfully, splendidly, captivatingly FUN to see people healed, made whole, and HAPPY!

Jesus paid for all of our healing. It’s here. NOW. We simply need to access it, to reach in and take hold of it.

Hallelujah to the Lamb on the Throne!!!! YEEHAW!!!

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

Hebrews 13:8

So, GO… LOVE YOUR CITY.

Let’s truly get the bride ready for her beautiful King Jesus!

May Jesus receive His full reward throughout the universe!

The Bride will know she is powerful, significant, beautiful, and adored NOW!!

Around the universe, the Bride is learning her value and her authority.

She is stepping out in confidence: knowing her identity, walking in freedom, and she is so lovestruck she easily does the things her bridegroom said for her to do,

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

And what did he command?

“Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.”

You are beautiful NOW, Bride of Christ!

Arise and SHINE. Get up and get out!

Transform the world.

Add peoples and nations to the Bride. Wake her up.

Jesus wants us to know our worth NOW.

From Azerbaijan to Los Angeles, from Puerto Rico to Madagascar!

A BEAUTIFUL BRIDE!

Jesus doesn’t want to come knock on His Bride’s door on their wedding day to wake her up and have her throw on some jeans and say, “Oh! You actually came! I never knew my identity, I never grew my giftings, I never did what you said about GOing, I never healed the sick. I thought about loving You, but I didn’t live with the reality of that love.”

He wants a ready Bride. And He will have it.

Deaf Ears Opened: an oldie but a goodie

This story is from November 2008. It’s about 4 deaf people Andrea and I healed in Jerusalem. A friend of mine heard the testimony on a Bethel sermon podcast over a year ago and it wasn’t until after he met me last year and I told him the story, that he realized I was “that woman.” Funny. I’ve known some Bethel folks and leaders for years now so, it’s not surprising the story made its way into a sermon without my former ministry partner and I knowing. Anyhow, I don’t know which podcast, but I’m half of the two women in the story. haha.

I’m writing it now, today, because, well… I’m waiting on something from heaven, learning how to access what is already in my pantry, and I need to remind myself of God’s goodness. That’s how I fight tiredness. I meditate on testimonies. I slowly drink a glass of His luscious faithfulness. And that’s how I win. I always win. I’ve been a victor since the day I was born again. Every day since then I am more than a conqueror. It’s in my DNA.

And so, the story:

My ministry partner Andrea and I had just returned from Cyprus – where (though we didn’t know this at the time) we met her husband. haha. We went to renew our visas and to surprise one of our spiritual sons. We went by ferry. And we returned by ferry. And then we took the train from the port in Haifa to Jerusalem. Before heading back to Bethlehem, we took our luggage and our well-traveled selves across from the rail station to the food court of the mall.

We ate lunch. I think we both had Chinese food. We sat by the window on the blue plastic bench seats and thought over our time in Cyprus. We laughed. We mused. We wondered about Dilgesh, the man who had snagged Andrea’s heart. And we thanked God for an easy re-entry back into Israel. HALLELUJAH!

As we were preparing to leave I noticed a deaf man cleaning the area. “Hey, before we go I want to heal that deaf guy.  Do you wanna come with me?” “Yeah! Let’s do it!” she responded. We approached the man. Incredibly, he could read and write in ENGLISH!!!! We began to “talk.”

The man’s name was Avi. He was in his twenties. And Jewish. And he had a great sense of humor. He was fascinated by the idea of God healing him.

We prayed for his ears. They got hot. (Many people experience supernatural heat or electricity while they are being healed.) As I continued to pray they became hotter and Andrea told him more about us. haha.

THEN, Avi’s eyes engulfed his face. “Something opened up in the back of my head, near my neck!” he said. And he could hear. I don’t mean a little. I mean, HE COULD HEAR substantially better than before. Avi was astounded, laughing, and amazed! He said we should call “911” because he was so HOT! haha! He then clarified that with “in Jerusalem call 102” (knowing that in America we call “911” for emergencies, but in Israel the number for the fire department is “102”). hilarious.

At this point two of Avi’s friends, also deaf, have come over to the pandemonium. One is Arab, the other Jewish. They speak sign language to each other. Avi becomes the translator as they decide they also would like to be healed. YES!

We pray for one, he takes his hearing aids out and he can hear! Previously, he heard nothing without the hearing aids. AND without knowing what Avi felt, he reported the very same sensation, “my ears are hot and something in the back of my head is expanding or something.” He was in shock. And his hearing was continuing to improve!

The third man also got hot. His hearing grew strong. He had internal hearing aids so, he couldn’t remove them to test it out more, but HE COULD HEAR much much more and it was growing with every passing minute!

We all sat down at a small table: me, Andrea, Avi, and the two other men. They wanted to know more about this God who healed them. And so we told them stories growing up with our Dad. haha. We chatted for maybe 30 minutes and the fiancee of one of the men showed up to the laughing table of power. She was perplexed. She was partially deaf; and she could tell these three men could hear much much more than before. Her fiance cajoled her to receive prayer. She was scared and resisted the offer. We told her that was fine and continued to talk about God’s goodness. She got interested. She wanted some. She asked us to pray for her. And her hearing improved! It was hilarious! We were all laughing hysterically, already reminiscing about 30 minutes earlier when we were two American women with a peculiar offer for prayer.

Avi called a deaf friend and told him to come to the mall to get healed. They both had video cel phones. It was incredible to see them signing back and forth to each other through Avi’s screen!

His friend couldn’t come at the moment, so Andrea gave him her contact information so we could  arrange a time to meet him and heal him too. Avi began to create a list of other friends who he wanted healed.

All laughs, hearing aids in one man’s hands, sincere friendship in our hearts, and a thanksgiving banquet in our midst, Andrea and I headed on our way.

Four deaf people healed in the food court in Jerusalem! What a lovely way to wrap up a trip! God has a knack for gift wrap! And we got to be the wrapping for the gift of hearing for these sweet,  amazing pre-believers! What an honor!

God heals. It’s who He is.

Jesus heals deaf ears. We heal deaf ears. He’s in us. We’re in Him. Inseparable.

When you know what you have, you use it. When you know what’s in your pantry, you get it out.

You have authority. You have power. You have healing. You have the fullness of heaven.

You don’t need to go get it. If you have Jesus in you, it’s there.

Get it out. It’s easy. And people love having their deaf ears open. Imagine not being able to hear ALL YOUR LIFE and then waking up into a world of sound! Amazing! It must be sensational to feel more a part of the world than ever – able to communicate with most anyone! Healing shows people that God is real and He loves people. And it’s what you were made for – to be part of His redemptive story. You’ll feel better about your life when you are doing what you were made to do – give God pleasure, transform the world with love.

Imagine how sad your arms would be if they never hugged people. They wouldn’t be arms, really – I mean, not in the sense of their fullness. And they’d get really self-focused if they didn’t hug people. They’d overanalyze themselves, they’d complain, they’d feel purposeless. Lots of believers don’t give away what they have so, they get sad. We’re designed to freely receive and freely give.

You must let the kingdom overflow out of you or you will be stagnant. You are a river, not a lake.

You are full of life. The more life you give, the more life you receive.

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons.

Freely you have received, freely give.

(Matthew 10:8)

Yeehaw!

HOODALOLLY!

Huzzah!

bang bang bang!

Jesus heals!

God is GOOD! always! 100%! perpetually!

no matter what! God is a GOOD FATHER!

HE LOVES TO GIVE

GOOD GIFTS TO HIS KIDS!!!

God is like a luscious peach

Anna loves fresh fruit. She talks about fruit so much, one might think it’s all she eats. She especially loves peaches. They are by the longest, biggest, most immeasurable measurement, her favorite. There’s really no comparison. And thankfully, there is a fresh produce stand at the end of her street from which she can get fresh fruit any time of night or day. Yes, it’s a 24 hour fruit stand.

One day Anna really, really, really, really wanted a fresh peach. She turned to her friend Sylvia, “Oh wow, I want a peach so much I can almost taste it.” Minutes passed. Anna got a drink of water. She drank the water. “Wow, you know, really, I would give anything for a fresh peach right now!”

“Well, why don’t you just walk down to the corner and get one?” Sylvia asked.

“Oh, I don’t know…” Anna said. “Maybe a friend will bring one by. Or maybe the man who sells them will come door to door, every couple months he does that. I can wait. ”

And so, hours of the day passed and every now and then Anna mentioned again how much she could barely stand her want of a peach. She even described the loveliness of the peach to Sylvia.

Sylvia was confused, “If you want a fresh peach so much, why don’t you want one enough to go get one?”

“What?” Anna replied.

“I mean, it’s a five minute walk. Why do you keep going on about wanting a peach? If you REALLY wanted one, you would just go get one.” Sylvia explained.

“Oh, I don’t know. Will you go get one for me?” Anna asked.

“What?” Sylvia answered. “This is ridiculous. You act like you can’t live without a fresh peach, but you don’t want one enough to just go get one! Your words and your actions don’t line up. Stop talking about the peach already, GO GET ONE!”

Anna sat down and thought about it. She grabbed a book about peaches and decided to read for while to “quench” her desire for a peach. Hours later she went to bed, with little more than the idea of the peach in her head, and nothing of the peach in her belly.

She wanted a peach enough to want one, but not enough to get one.

That’s how we are with God – much too much of the time.

We want to want Him, but we don’t want Him enough to get Him.

And how much more absurd would Anna’s story be if that fresh peach was on a tree in her yard?

What if it was in a bowl on her kitchen counter?

What if it was in her hand?

And still she talked of wanting a peach, but she didn’t eat the peach she had?

I need a miracle! Isn’t that exciting?

UPDATE 12/14/10

Sweetly, all I have left to pay toward my tuition is…

drumroll please…

$347!!!!!

It was due November 9 and needs to be paid ASAP.

If you want to give, here’s the link:

https://www.ibssm.org/?action=donate&target=tuition&student_id=209452

Thank you with a parade tumbling from my heart, to ALL who have contributed! You inspire me!

THANK YOU with a jump and a hug to everyone who has given!!!

In other fantastic news: I just found out that a woman I prayed for IS PREGNANT!!!! She HAD (past tense) poly cystic disease, and had been trying to get pregnant for years. I prayed for her a couple months ago -actually she was in England, but I prayed for her via her husband in Redding! And a month later, TADA!!!! pregnant!!!!!! hahahahahahaha! God loves BABIES!!!!! And dreams coming to reality! YAY!!!!!!! Hoodalolly! Jesus is King of Kings and Lord of Lords and Doctor of Doctors and Healer of Healers!!!!  I love the way He loves us!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As many of you know, I’ve decided to do another year of Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. For months I really didn’t want to, mainly because I didn’t want to do more support-raising and I didn’t want to do more school – because I’ve been in school most of my life. Well, a friend approached me about a month ago and said that while he was praying for me he really felt like God wanted him to tell me to reconsider doing another year of school. Initially, I was annoyed. Then I went to the prayer house at church with my guitar (whose name if Jehoshaphat : )  ) and Jehoshaphat and I worshiped my favorite Person together. By the time I left I strongly felt I was to do second year. I was stomping anxiety with praise. And lifting my head to see higher. I committed again to be fully equipped for what the Lord has for my life and destiny.

So, I’m getting ready for school now. As part of my summer homework, I’m reading an absolutely incredible book with sermons and stories from the life of John G. Lake –  a radical believer in the early 1900’s who carried an outpouring in Africa for five years and then established a famous healing home in Spokane, Washington where thousands were healed of all forms of sickness and disease.  The book is giving me fresh vision and fire for healing and making the kingdoms of this world the kingdom of our God!!!! I dream of every tongue, tribe, and nation madly in love with Jesus!

http://www.amazon.com/John-G-Lake-Sermons-Boldness/dp/0881149624/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282068429&sr=1-3

I’m excited about second year. Yesterday I was at my revival group pastor’s house to pray for a couple passing through Redding on their way home to Southern California. The woman had about ten years of severe back pain and was on the brink of making a decision about a very invasive surgery. She got healed yesterday! She left pain free and able to walk more than the 150 yards or so she’d previously been limited to!! Actually, she and her husband walked up and down a hill and she was completely pain free!!!! HOORAY!!!! That time of ministry really stirred me up with expectation for this next year! I’m excited to see more breakthrough in healing and bringing freedom to people the world over!!!

YAY! I want Jesus to get His full reward in the nations!!!

Last year was the best year of my life, this year will be even better!!!! God is powerfully, sweetly on the move in my life. I am learning SO much and seeing things I dreamed of since childhood – healings, miracles, and nations being discipled!!

This year I’ve been selected to be a Student Developer, which means I will mentor, counsel, and coach other students toward fulfilling their goals and dreams. Also, I will take an elective on leadership coaching as I am led in how to lead. I’m really looking forward to seeing people grow into their own fullness. What an honor!

As I watch others’ dreams grow, I’m expanding my own dreams – to go to every single nation and set them on fire for Jesus – to show the Bride she is beautiful, powerful, and important. I want to lead teams in the nations and I want to focus on the Middle East. I’m not sure what quite it will look like, but I know there will be lots of healing, prophecy, deliverance, and speaking to world leaders. I’m going to see nations transformed and I am going to be an integral part of that! YEEEHAW!

 

I’m wide-eyed and looking heavenward today as I expect a miracle of provision. It’s a nice place to be – wildly dependent on God and training myself not to worry, but to be FAITH-FILLED in looking to see His goodness pour out over my life in a new way. I really love God. And I really want to do what He beckons me to. That’s where the most LIFE is. haha. He is infinitely good, always good, fully good. I love being able to walk through life with Him and to praise Him no matter what. It’s a burning place of love and intimacy. And it sets those around me ablaze too. <deep sigh> I’m so thankful for God’s provision: financially, relationally, spiritually, physically etc. He’s amazing. And He absolutely deserves the highest praise and my full devotion. Wow, I feel insanely blessed to know Him.

So, I need a miracle, which is awesome because everyone who gets a miracle NEEDS one first. Hahaha. So, I’m well set-up for a miracle!

Blessings as you gaze into heaven today. Your Father loves you more than you could ever imagine. He is your biggest fan! He’s cheering you on constantly!

Lastly, I do send email updates monthly. If you or someone you know would like to receive that, let me know.

 

Here’s a new song I adore. It’ll bless your socks off.

I hold you in high esteem- even if we’ve never met- because I know you are amazing… because everyone is amazing!!!! hahahaha! And I’m so grateful for your part in this gorgeous story the Author is writing. Be blessed with healing NOW, new vision, and sweet rest in Him today. Easy Jesus-y does it! tada!

VICTORY – something I’m wildly excited about!

I just got home from Rite Aid, ten minutes ago. As I was getting into my car in the parking lot I noticed an elderly man trying to get out of his car. He was struggling to lift himself out of the driver seat. “Excuse me, do you need help?” I asked. “Oh, no, I’m okay, just having a harder time than usual,” he answered. “Oh, do you have back trouble?” I asked. “No, it’s actually a neurological and muscular disease. It usually doesn’t bother me this much, but, you know, there are just times when I get stuck in a position.” “Mmmm… well I’ve seen people healed of diseases when I pray for them. I prayed for a woman with arthritis in her hands two days ago and the pain left her hands. If you want I can pray for you.” “Oh, well, if God wants to heal me, He’ll heal me.” he replied, “mmmm….. but if you want to, I guess anything might help.” At this point he was standing so I said, “okay, so can I pray for you now?” “Well, I’ve got to go inside and pick up my medication right now,” he said. “Could you wait just a minute so I can pray for you here?” I asked. “Um, yes, yes, okay.” “Can I touch your shoulder?” “Yes, sure.” And there we stood and he inserted, “You know there are people all over the world a lot worse off than me. You should pray for them more than me.” “Well, I’m happy to pray for anybody, but God is really really in love with you and He wants to heal you.” I explained. And then I commanded the pain and the disease to leave. He said he didn’t feel differently, but he was encouraged, “and well, you never know” he tacked on — causing my own mental images of him instantly healed in line in Rite Aid or in front of the tv tonight. haha. Then he thanked me intently, “What you just did is great. thank you.” And he smiled and went on his way.

I got in my car. I felt victorious. And I felt indignant.

Why did I feel indignant?

I felt indignant because of the man’s miscontrued beliefs. He said, “If God wants to heal me, He’ll heal me” and he said, “You know there are people all over the world a lot worse off than me. You should pray for them more than me.” I was upset with holy indignation. THIS SHOULD NOT BE. THIS VIEW IS WRONG WRONG WRONG. It’s a lie. And it doesn’t do Jesus any favors.

Jesus told US to “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.” That’s in Matthew 10:8. Many other times Jesus gave similar COMMANDS. Luke 9:1-2 reads, “When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick.”

These are COMMANDS. NO WHERE does Jesus say to let depression fill your head and just wait for a sovereign healing from God. He gave us AUTHORITY to do what He did. This is part of what His death and resurrection PAID for. For us to ignore this command and keep this gift stuffed in our closets is horrible, lazy, and it’s just really really FAR from the abundant life Jesus bought for us.

God wants us living victoriously. Even the idea that “Oh, so many people are worse off than me so, I’ll just suffer through this disease/discouragement/injustice” is contrary to the power of the cross. WHAT?!? It doesn’t help anyone for you or anybody else to be less than what you are supposed to be. You believe you have a purpose and a destiny, yes? Well, wouldn’t you be better able to fulfill it and be joyful while fulfilling it if you were walking in health, joy, and abundance? And wouldn’t that reflect the beauty of God more?

And the idea that healing isn’t for today is a lie. And the idea that only certain believers are able to heal people is a lie too. Every single believer in Jesus already has the power to heal, but you know what… if you don’t pray for sick people, you won’t heal them. It’s pretty simple.

AND if you are praying, “Oh God, if it’s your will, please heal this person” prayers, that’s pretty half-hearted and probably hasn’t led to many astounding results. WHY? Because that’s not the model Jesus gave us. He commanded people to be healed. He said, “You are healed.” He just did it. He knew God wanted to heal every single person and he acted in line with that belief.

T.L. Osborne, who led a movement which sent over 30,000 missionaries and established over 150,000 churches around the world said,

“Never ask God to do what He has already said he has already done,

Never ask God to do what he has already told you to do.”

Some of you are reading this and thinking, “Well, yeah, but it’s not that easy.” Yeah, maybe it’s not that easy, at least at first, but is it easy to live under the grey clouds of powerlessness, struggle, and anxiety you are often stuck beneath? Moreover, it gets easier and easier. And as you expect it to be easy, it will be easy. Your faith really will move mountains.

Some of you are thinking, “Well, okay, but how do I get there? How do I get to this confidence you have, Dawn?” To that, I’ll say, “Well, yeah, I haven’t alway been this confident in the area of healing. It has been a journey, but it’s easier than you think. Mostly, it comes down to JUST DOING IT.” Stop talking about it, theologizing about it, and trying to understand how it works, and JUST DO IT. Just find someone and heal them. And then you think, “Well, what if the first person doesn’t get healed?” Firstly, EXPECT THEM TO. Secondly, so what if they aren’t? You might feel embarrassed or awkward for five minutes, but SO WHAT? Thirdly, if you pray for nine people and none of them get healed at that moment, but the tenth person does, HOORAY for the tenth person! They’ll be glad you didn’t stop at number nine. haha. You’ll be really encouraged when number ten is healed and you’ll realize the power of Jesus really really really is WITHIN you. “Oh my goodness! All the things Jesus said were TRUE! Healing is literally healing! It’s not a metaphor! And it’s not just an antiquated picture of spiritual and emotional healing! Jesus meant for us to PHYSICALLY HEAL PEOPLE!!!!! This is awesome!!!”

Okay, a bit more of my own journey. Starting when I was sixteen I usually spent at least an hour daily praying for the Middle East – God would show me specific people and places and I would declare the heart of God to those people. As I got closer and closer to God’s heart for people, I became overwhelmed with compassion. By the time I was twenty I would see people out and about town and I would know automatically what was going on in their lives and in their bodies. When I was twenty-one and living in Southern California, I told God, “You know, You are showing me all these things about people, I should be doing something about it. I should probably go up to them and pray for them. So, if you want me to go up to people, help me do that.” Hahahaha! That was one of those “you don’t know what you are getting yourself into” prayers. Immediately, I was approaching people. I remember one day I was in line somewhere and I knew a woman standing by the wall had stomach problems and some relational struggles. I went over to her and asked if those things were accurate. She began to cry. “Yes,” she said. I asked if I could pray for her and encouraged her that God is aware of her life and loves her very much. She was really touched. I actually don’t remember if I prayed for her there, but I do remember her name was Sandy. And I know she could feel the love of God in a fresh, powerful, accepting way.

Anyhow, that’s probably when approaching strangers for prayer began to be normative for me. I didn’t have any human example of that. I didn’t know anything about “words of knowledge” and I had never heard a teaching about praying for people in public places OR about healing people. I just talked to God a lot, felt His heart for people, and my love for Him provoked me to believe Him and act on that belief.

That grew, and then I got too emotionally involved in the troubles I was seeing in people. If they felt sad, I felt sad. If they were wounded, I felt their pain – not merely compassion, but I got bogged down by others’ negative emotions until I had little joy to give. I told God I felt like it was too much. And it stopped – for a couple years. I was horrified, and brokenheartedly repentant. “I’m sorry, God! I never want to shut down the Holy Spirit’s flow in my life! Help me! I want to love people as You love them!” I lacked the maturity to feel compassion and not sympathy, and unfortunately I stopped praying for strangers for a while.

Eventually, the insight and compassion returned. And I learned how to harness my emotions, to give strength to others, without getting pulled into their own gloom. It was glorious!

It was a few years ago, living in Bethlehem, Israel that I really constantly started stepping out and healing people. I approached people on the streets, those with crutches, the mute man who sells gum, people in wheelchairs, and people started bringing the sick to me or asking me to go pray for their loved ones. Many, many people were healed. And many of those I healed, went on to heal other people. And they are still healing people. It’s a revolution. In the midst of that I became familiar with Bethel Church in Redding, CA (where I am presently in ministry school). In 2006 a friend loaned me two books by Bill Johnson. Then I started listening to the free podcasts on line. During our first year in Israel two teams from Bethel did ministry in Israel. And we became friends with them.

They demonstrated to me that it was truly a movement- that God was raising up a global family to walk in the things Jesus walked in. I wasn’t alone. I had found my tribe. Since childhood I dreamed of a community of believers like that existing. In high school I read “Azusa Street” which is about the Azusa Street Revival in Los Angeles in the early 1900’s, and I was forever ruined. I would lay on my floor and weep, declaring and committing to God that I would be a part of a movement infinitely greater than that! I felt that if I did not see heaven on earth in power, if I did not see miracles become common, I would die. I craved revival: city-wide, state-wide, nation-wide, universe-wide REVIVAL. The world over fully alive and walking in the GLORY of God continuously – signs and wonders of all kinds. And so, in knowing the people from Bethel Church, I was immensely encouraged by them. And I was mightily blessed by the breakthrough they brought to Israel. We were seeing breakthrough, but to have teams come and really BLAZE for a week or two was absolutely INCREDIBLE!!!! It felt like the world’s largest gift. haha. In the years that followed, they came to Bethlehem as well and we saw the churches begin to understand more clearly that they too could heal – in fact, they were meant to! It was a time of deep sighing, no longer feeling like it was just a few of us revving up our engines and ramming holes in walls, but there was a momentum.  Transformation was happening.

Victory was becoming more palpable. And that’s one of the most enigmatic things about victory in Jesus – it’s always present, we just need to INCREASE OUR AWARENESS OF IT! Become mindful of how victorious you are, in every moment. Welcome Holy Spirit to show you victory, and you will see it more than you’ve ever imagined.

About a year and a half ago I stayed at a friend’s house in America. When I met her sister I felt like God said, “There’s something I want you to pray for her for before you leave.” Well, I forgot about that until about a week later when my friend said, “Hey, I feel like you should pray for my sister before you go.” “Oh my goodness! Yeah, I felt God prompt me to that when I met her, but I forgot. What’s wrong with your sister?” “Well, she and her husband have been trying to have kids for five years, but haven’t been able to and the doctors don’t know what the problem is.” “I’d love to pray for that! Let’s do it!” I exclaimed. She privately asked her sister if that would be okay and her sister agreed. Amazingly, even though this family follows Jesus, no one ever laid hands on her and prayed for her about this. People prayed, but never laid hands on her and commanded healing!!! In five years!!! Well, we laid hands on her and commanded healing.

Five weeks later she was pregnant!!!!!! The baby was born last December. And I was one of the first people they told about the pregnancy and the birth because they knew she was healed in that prayer time. hahahahahahahaha! Beautiful! Glorious!!!!!!!! And just like God!

Those are the things God wants to do, but He wants us to carry them out. That’s why Jesus had disciples. That’s why Jesus commissioned them and US  as recorded in the last verses of Mark,

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.”

After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God. Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed his word by the signs that accompanied it.

This is the joyful, wonderful, adventure God has put together for us!!!! It’s fantastic!

And another thing, some of you are thinking, “Well, what if I just don’t feel like it? what if I’m having a bad day?” Let me say two things, God likes it when we do things He wants us doing even when we don’t feel like it. That’s the discipline of rejoicing and having HEAVEN’S perspective and not earth’s. The more you line your thinking up with heaven, the more naturally you will think and live like heaven. ALSO, we are not supposed to be controlled by our emotions. I stopped believing in “bad days” about two years ago and I haven’t had a bad day since then. hahaHA! I expect every day to be awesome. I am going from strength to strength and glory to glory, every single day. Every day is better than the one before, because His glory is expanding in my life. Paul said, But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.” (II Corinthians 3:18)

That’s a promise. That’s the set-up: increasing in glory, in joy, in strength, in victory, and in abundance in every single area of our lives. That said, the kingdom of God works on faith. If you have faith for increasingly glory, you’ll see it. If you have faith for sorrow-to-sorrow, you’ll probably see that. God wants us to get rid of our mediocre expectations and expect GREAT things!

Your family, your neighborhood, etc are waiting for you to really truly KNOW who you are and act like the powerful son or daughter of God you are!!!! Besides, imagine how much happier you will be when you are living in fullness of freedom, authority, and joy daily! You’ll be more fully you! You’ll sleep better, love better, dream better, serve better, and LIVE better.

Yesterday, my housemate and I went next door to invite our neighbors to a bbq and we ended up praying for our neighbor who was told she has cancer. She was really blessed and encouraged by our faith and joy. And I believe she is being healed. In fact, she said she gets mad at the doctors’ prognosis, because she says, “No man is going to tell me to expect bad things. Only God has the say in how I feel about my life!” Wow! I thought, “The church could sure use some of that positive outlook fire!!!”

hahahahaha. What if you expect every single thing in your life to go well? What if you expect it, not only to go well, but to go amazingly well? What if you take your biggest dreams and then move them into the size of impossibility? Then you’ll really need God to accomplish the dreams! haha! I encourage you to smash every box of expectation in your life, dream bigger than you’ve ever dreamed! You want to lead your neighborhood in worshiping Jesus? Well, how about believing for leading your whole CITY in worshiping Jesus? You want your friend’s baby delivery to go well? How about believing and declaring it will be pain-free? (It’s possible! And I’ve heard several stories!) You want a job that gives you x amount of money annually? How about declaring the release of a job that gives you twice that? haha! You want to see one person healed by your hands in your lifetime? How about expecting to heal one person every week? You want 6 hours of good sleep every night? How about expecting 8? You want your allergies to be less severe? How about commanding them to FULLY leave?

How about it? How about instead of the occasional victory, daily victory? Constant victory?

How about believing you are worth God lavishing blessing on and through?

How about grabbing a hold of the authority Jesus gave you and transforming your community?

How about living a life more GLORIOUS, JOYFUL, JESUS-FULL, and FUN than you’ve ever imagined?

HOW ABOUT IT?

hahahaha! Such beautiful mischief we get to make with God when we stir things up and bring victory to our lives and the lives of those around us continuously! It’s so much fun!

Oh, one last thing, there was a time in my life when I was struggling with gloom, so I wrote “fear” “anxiety” and “death” on three separate pieces of white paper. Every day for a month I cranked up worship music and danced and stomped on those stupid words. So much breakthrough and freedom came as a result. I was confidently proclaiming, “I WILL NOT LET THE ENEMY TELL ME WHAT TO DO!! NO WAY! NO HOW!!! NO SIREEEEE!!!! NEVER!!!!” Feel free to the same. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

If you’d like some teaching on the authority you have in Jesus, I recommend this series by Andrew Wommack:

http://www.awmi.net/extra/audio/1017

If you’d like an INCREDIBLE teaching called “Overcoming Negativity Through Rest” by Graham Cooke, you can find it here:

http://www.brilliantbookhouse.com/product_info.php?products_id=41

If you’d like some sound bytes of encouragement, I recommend these messages mixes by Bethel Church’s youth movement, Jesus Culture:

Especially “Invitation to Victory”  It will stick some dynamite in ya!

http://www.jesusculture.com/m/message-mix

Yippee-ky-ay-AAAAA!

He’s better than you think!

Yeehaw!

Jesus is alive and well!

And so are YOU!

My First Speaking in Tongues

To celebrate reaching page 100 of my book, I am posting an excerpt from it here. Enjoy. I’m really thrilled to be this far along and “on schedule” (100 pages before August). And I am thoroughly rejoicing in God’s sweetness. As I write through the river of my life, the crazy adventures and the amazing spiritual explosions I’ve experienced astound me anew with WHO God is. I mean, He’s GOD. I think we lose sight of that often. If you meditate on your most amazing, powerful, romantic, loving view of God… it still doesn’t capture the fullness. God is God. The river of my life is beautiful, rambunctious, and BEAUTIFUL. He loves me infinitely and infinitely well. I am hungry for more oneness with Him. I have it, and I want it more. He is beyond compare, matchless, and He loves us with an everlasting love. We are usually too self-focused to be full of wonder; and we miss out. He has treasures for us in His jacket pockets we have not even DREAMED. We must wake up and dream. haha. Wow. <Consume us, Father. >

¨¨¨¨¨°º☼º°¨¨¨¨

Ready to further prepare for my call to the nations, that fall (2001) I began a Masters Degree in Theological Studies at Vanguard University. Although I knew I was to begin the degree there, God clearly said I would not finish it there, but I would transfer elsewhere. It seemed humorous to begin a Masters Degree with the covert knowledge I would soon be on my way.

Yet, it was an important year of strengthening and leadership. At that point, I intentionally stayed away from leadership for about two years. Two years earlier I reached a point where I vividly saw how much spiritual responsibility came with leadership – I played guitar in the worship team at my church, I was on a youth ministry team, and for years had easily stepped into leadership – whether momentary or long-term. I decided then that I would stay away from leadership for a time until God channeled me into it with force. I wanted to cultivate my internal faithfulness, my internal prophetic sense, my own history in intercession. I wanted to hash out some key things with God by myself before leading others in hashing things out.

Those things were underway in the autumn of 2001. I spent an hour or two daily in God’s presence – lying on my floor and communing with Him spirit-to-spirit and dancing in the prayer room on campus while prophesying over the school and the city.

Also, my friend Jon began an intercessory group. Every Wednesday night while worship went on in the dining hall, we gathered in a side room and interceded from about 8pm to 11pm. Jon asked me to be in the group and I felt the Lord’s leading in that so, for many months we would gather and pray for the people on the other side of the wall: for healing, for breakthrough, for miracles, and for revival. One night we had a few words of knowledge – God showed us specific ailments and situations in students’ lives – and we felt to go into the other room and lay hands on people to release the breakthrough God was bringing.

That night might have been the first time I saw someone healed with my own hands. A guy had a cast on his leg, from a break or a fracture, and when I prayed for him, all the pain left, he tested it out and he was fully healed! Hooray!

Prayer is powerful. Declarations are powerful.

And night after night as we gathered in that side room God would give me visions of the campus, visions of people I’d never met, and visions of His destiny for not only the school, but the universe.

One weekend I was in a seminar for one of my classes, that particular day we talked about Church Leadership. At one point in the lecture I heard Holy Spirit say, “Pay attention to this. It’s going to be important really soon.” I thought, “What?! There’s nothing in my life that would suddenly find me in leadership, but okaaaaaay.” That Monday I came home to my flatmate’s message that  Jon stopped in. She said she didn’t know why he came by. God spoke to my spirit: “He feels like you are supposed to be in charge of the intercession group. He’s going to leave the group, and he doesn’t know why, but he knows you are supposed to lead it.” I responded to Becky with, “Oh, okay. Yeah, I know why he stopped by.” “Why?” she asked. “Oh, I’ll talk to you about it later,” I replied.

So, that was what God was referring to! I was to lead the intercession group! Wow! A dear responsibility! What a privilege!

It was Wednesday when Jon next swung by. “Um, Dawn, I need to talk to you about something,” he somewhat reservedly spoke. “Oh yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it. It’s fine.” I answered. “What? What are you talking about? Do you know what I’m talking about?” he questioned. “Well, go ahead with what you were going to say,” I said. “No, you go ahead,” he raised his eyebrows. “You came over to tell me that you aren’t going to be in charge of the prayer group anymore, and you don’t know why, but you know I am supposed to lead it.” I summarized. “Yeah! Wow! I asked God to confirm it with you. And well, I guess He sure did confirm it! Soooo… that’s okay? I’m sorry I’m only telling you a couple hours before prayer…” “It’s okay. No worries. God gave me the heads-up a couple days ago.” Jon smiled, “You know, really, I have no idea why I’m not supposed to lead it anymore; and actually, I don’t even feel like I’m supposed to be in the group anymore.” “Oh, okay. We’ll miss you, but if that’s what you feel like God is saying, then that’s that.” I grinned and laughed. “Yeah, you’re right. Okay, well, have fun tonight!” he chuckled, paused, and hopped out my door.

And I led the intercession group every Wednesday night from that fall evening in 2001 to the next May.

¨¨¨¨¨°º☼º°¨¨¨¨

It was in that intercession group that I first spoke in tongues.

I felt I received the baptism in the Spirit years earlier in an intense encounter with God one day in church: when I got up from that encounter with new power to say “yes” to God and “no” to other things. Yet, I cried out for the gift of speaking in tongues for years before that and after that. It seemed a mystery of prolonged waiting. I couldn’t make it happen. I could wait. I could immerse myself in His Presence. I could ask for the activation of what I knew was already mine. And I did.

In fact, one bright Sunday, I was on my second consecutive trip through the book of Acts. God had prodded me to read it and upon finishing, when I asked Him what I should read next, He said, “Acts” like “duuuuh.” So, I read Acts again. And it was as I started my second tour through Acts, merely a mile down the lane, at chapter one verse five: “For John baptized with water, but in a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.” that God said, “In a few days.” “What?! What’s in a few days?” I exclaimed. “In a few days,” I heard again. “Wow. Okay,” I thought, “something big is going to happen in a few days, I wondering if He’s talking about speaking in tongues? That’s what they got after their days of waiting in Acts chapter one…”

Wednesday came. We all gathered for intercessory prayer. After praying together we scooted off to our own nooks and crannies in the room to pray individually. I was tucked between two round tables in the back left corner – my usual hideout. I prayed for nearly an hour and felt myself tiring, “God, I can’t even see these people! How am I supposed to know what to pray for them? I don’t even know most of them! If you want me to pray, you are going to have to pray through me!!!” I irritably stared into the darkness at the unsweetened-cocoa-brown floor.

Now, in Acts two verse two when the people are baptized in the Spirit and begin to speak in tongues it says, “Suddenly, a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.”

SUDDENLY.

I couldn’t agree more.

I was sitting, boring my eyes into the carpet one moment and the next, a violent force blew my body to facedown and instantly the grip of heaven squeezed me and the dam broke: a deluge of tongues exploded out of me, through every causeway in my being and into every dry riverbed in and around me. As soon as the slam hit me, I said, “God, if you are going to do it, I want you to do it all the way! Give me all you got!”

Gravity changed.

I was sitting bent over, face nearly on the floor. Then I wasn’t. Straight away my whole body was prostrate on the floor, my face ingrained in the carpet fibers, my limbs vacuum-sucked by some mysterious coup d’état beneath the floor, my body heaved in compassion. I was undone. Devastated. Landslided. I was a massive boulder cast over a bridge into the raging river underneath.

Tidals waves of tongues gushed out of me, arrows of intercession and faith.

I had never felt such a measure of compassion and fire to pray. I could intensely and specifically feel the emotions, concerns, needs, and also growing freedom of those worshipping. It was amazing. It was a gift- a priceless and powerful and equipping gift. I remained face down on the floor, riotously praying in tongues for about an hour. In an interlude of tidal waves, I thought, “I wonder what time it is? Maybe I should sit up…” but alas,

I would not

Could not

Should not

Sit up.

I would not

Could not

Should not

Get up.

My body was immoveable. There was such weight on my limbs, I could not move them. I was in the midst of a prayer assignment and an appointment with the Glory of God from which I ought not be prematurely released.

Pray on, I did.

In time, I heard shuffling feet and the outside door opening and closing. I realized the worship service was over. I lifted my heavy head. My friends were gathered in our usual closing prayer circle. I hoisted my limbs in the basket of my will and crawled over to my friends.

My flatmate Becky and my friend Sheri stared loudly at me. I silently took the empty slot in the circle, still experiencing supernatural gravity that made every move onerous. “Do you want to close us in prayer?” Becky asked. “Um, uh, no. Go ahead,” I slipped the iron ore words out of my jelly mouth. “Okay,” she responded, tying up the prayer time in a short prayer. Everyone, but Sheri and Becky left the room.

Their heads spun on their holders, “what happened to you!?” Becky prompted. “You look like you saw a ghost!” Sheri added. I lifted my thousand pound noggin slightly, “Well, I’m pretty sure I just spoke uncontrollably in tongues for about two hours for the first time in my life” the words drizzled out. “What?!” “Wow!” “That’s awesome!” “Tell me about it!” “What happened?” they riddled, hugging me in joy and celebration. Both Sheri and Becky spoke in tongues regularly and they knew I was waiting for my own launch. However, at that moment, I was having a difficult time speaking English, and my body was craving more of the Holy Spirit. “Um, uh, I’m just going to go home and speak in tongues. Bye” my words dripped from between the small space between my two bottom teeth. “Oh, okay. Bye” they replied in unavoidable unison. I crept upward, from the floor to the non-floor. In a deep daze, I plodded out the doors and to my apartment.

While dragging my limbs in the wagon of my spirit across the parking lot, I slipped back in to praying in tongues. It was such brilliant fun! Once back in my apartment I collapsed onto our couch (well, really, it was a loveseat we lovingly referred to as a couch) and further erupted in tongues. At this stage, I could manage my own thoughts and direct my prayers. I thought, “okay, well, while I am it, I might as well think of every single person I can think of and pray for them in tongues.” And that is precisely what I did. For about half an hour I worked my way through my immediate family, my closest friends, my extended family, my other friends, my professors, my classmates, the cashier at the grocery store, the old man who frequently fellowshipped with students during lunch time on campus, and so on and so forth.

In the vicinity of 11:30 Sheri skimmed into my newly established heavenly United Nations language office. “Hi… Dawn…? Hey, sorry to disturb you. I was just thinking since you are really in the Holy Spirit flow right now, maybe you would pray for me?” She went on to explain what she wanted prayer about. “Yeah, sure, yeah… uh huh….I can’t speak much English, but I can definitely pray in tongues” I burbled. I got up and stood near her in the kitchen, leaning against the counter for moral support. I placed my hand on her shoulder and let ‘er rip. Her tears testified to the accuracy of the words pouring out of me which I didn’t know the meaning of. It felt taken care of. Peace nestled between us. “Thanks, Dawn. You’re great,” her lips cornered into her sweet upward turned grin – the Sheri grin, dotted in Caribbean Sea blue eyes and long dark brown eyelashes. She exited.

My toes gripped the floor and committed my still leaden body back to the “couch.” I closed my eyes and absorbed Heaven’s luscious fullness. I could feel fulfillment soaring in me and through me.

Heaven’s heartbeat is 100% fulfillment, in all ways, at all times. That is heaven’s nature. And that is God’s desire and perception of our lives – always moving toward fulfillment: fulfilled promises, fulfilled health, fulfilled destiny, fulfilled alignment, fulfilled victory. Fulfilled you. Fulfilled me.

As I was splayed there on our loveseat I felt I was at rest in the seat of love. I felt I was goozled into an oversized beanbag in the throne room of heaven. Consummately enraptured and in union with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”

Song of Songs 6:3

In Hebrew it is written:

אני לדודי ודודי לי

Phonetically it sounds like: Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li

And what a lovely, melodic symmetry there is to those words. Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li. The timber of the consonants expectantly looking up in vowels, it resonates like a match made in heaven. It sounds like unity. And that is what I felt lying there in my second floor apartment on our black-sheet draped loveseat beneath the dim light of my grandparents’ old blue and green stained glass lamp. Oneness.

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Speaking in tongues added lushness and power to my life. Once the gift was ignited, I operated in it nearly daily. I still do. It stirs up the streams of living water inside me and it gives me heaven’s secrets as I pray for people and situations.

And it feeds the ONENESS.

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