worship from the last day of second year

These are videos from worship from the last day of my second year of Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) on May 11, 2011. As a friend said tonight, “You often don’t know how much bondage you are in until you really get free. Then you wonder how you ever lived with all that stuff.”  Really experiencing true freedom, the freedom Jesus paid for, has been a big part of my journey at BSSM. I highly recommend it: the freedom journey.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:1

Activacy

I am currently working for an organization called Heroes of the Nation. http://www.htn.org/       

They are assembling a website to inspire and mobilize activism and advocacy for social justice,

hence the name “activacy.com”

I am beside myself with visionary joy and delight in being able to be a part of this movement’s momentum.

You are welcome to cheer us on! : )

Here’s a glimpse of the vision:

Eden’s House

I am presently in a writing class at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. Today we had ten minutes to “free write” based on a prompt. I wrote an anecdote from my childhood. My writing group adored it. So, I opted to post it here. May it awaken your imagination and your hope for Eden. Eden is a real picture of blissful union with God: chatting, walking in the breath of the day, nurturing creation, and co-reigning with Him. Jesus made the reality of Eden attainable to us. We can stroll in unbroken communion with our Creator and King. God longs for us to do so: to dream with Him, to create with Him, and to transform the world with Him. This partnership is the fruit of love. It will bring heaven and Eden to earth.

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Eden. It’s one of my favorite words. I love the sound of the long “e’s” – it seems to connote the very evergreen nature of that original garden of promise. Growing up, my backyard was quite Eden-esque. There were eight fruits that grew in our yard: apricots, grapefruit, oranges, apples, figs, plums, grapes, and, of course, the strawberry patch tucked next to the house. To my wide blue eyes, this made the place all-the-more fantastical, a veritable Wonderland of supply and self-sustenance. Adding possibility to possibility, there was also a two story playhouse which my dad and grandpa built for me.

That play house was my house in the sky, a spacesuit to my imagination, and my very own first home. There were cupboards, counters, a mini-kitchen, and stairs leading to a tiny upstairs bedroom with a wooden bed only a child could fit into. And then there was the balcony. The balcony came off of the bedroom. And it was so close to my parents’ own balcony which came from their bedroom; a seven year old’s legs could easily span the distance.  That distance was the gap between a reality my mom designated and a reality I designated. The one I designated was much more inventive.

And so, while my mom was usually occupied in the kitchen downstairs, I would make my escape from normalcy. I would pop downstairs to let my mom know I would be “reading.” Then I would read for 30 seconds in my bedroom, trying to substantiate my claim to be “reading”; and soon I would be quietly tip-toeing through my parents’ bedroom, out to their balcony, and from their balcony to my little playhouse balcony. From there anything might happen.

Sometimes I would stay in my playhouse, I’d curl up in the tiny bed just before a thunderstorm hit. My house, the chitty-chitty-bang-bang of houses, would instantly transform into a boat. I would rescue people from foreign lands and pull them to safety. At times, the bottom floor would begin to flood! In these moments I was left with no other option than to walk on the counter and even stand on top of the front door of the house as I pivoted that open door using my hands on the ceiling. (Good thing those hinges were strong.) Those were dangerous times. Being seven and knowing that the future of the whole world rests on whether you can get a green bowl of your last earthly provisions from the kitchen table without touching the floor, is very demanding (at first). Yet the thanks of entire people groups and animal families was always worth the risk.

Risk. I thrived on risk. I would create it perpetually: life and death scenarios, streams of hot lava, small children (and even babies) stranded on miniscule sinking islands. Nothing ever stopped me. When a fleck of hot lava burned my forearm, I pressed on. When a lightning bolt split my life raft in half, I kept going. When all the other humans and animals around me gave up hope, I hope-d still. That playhouse encased in Eden was my place of peace. There I established the reality. There I knew I was significant, able to save lives and transform the world. There, I created. Like God created physical somethings from nothings, I created somethings in my mind. Anything was possible. And I knew God was there with me, enjoying my creation and communing with me about our similarities. I was learning how to govern my own Eden. Next to the playhouse’s front door was a sidewalk, the sidewalk was marked with my handprints. “1983” and my hands. I was four years old when I sunk my powerful hands into the ready wet cement. I was learning how to leave my mark. And how to dream things into reality. I’m still learning. I still live in a world where the sidewalks are made of wet cement and the houses are expectant for my hope to give them purpose. I’m thankful I learned how to save lives so many years ago, standing on my playhouse’s front door, reigning over Eden.

This isn't my playhouse, but it is me and my sisters at Storyland.

I’m going to Central Asia in March!

here comes the bride, all dressed in white...

Last year I went to Mexico on my official missions trip with Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. We saw hundreds of healings and we had an absolutely joyfully catalytic time increasing the blaze in La Paz, Mexico.

THIS YEAR I AM GOING TO CENTRAL ASIA!!!!!!

Let me tell you how I found myself headed so far east:
A couple months ago it was time to choose my top five choices for missions trips. Central Asia was not on my mental list. Then I felt prompted to ask a friend where he felt I should go. He instantly said, “Central Asia.” “What?!!! Why? That’s nowhere on my radar!” I exclaimed, thinking his discernment was wacky. He said he didn’t know why, but he felt like it could be the Holy Spirit dropping ideas into his head. haha. So I began asking God if there was anything to this notion.

That weekend I went to Central California to a friend’s wedding. He married a woman from Uzbekistan. As she stood there at the altar looking at him I began to cry. “It’s the Central Asian bride!” I thought to myself (and the Holy Spirit). “She’s going to fall in love with Jesus and marry Him!!!! Oh my goodness! I don’t remember ever feeling this way about Central Asia!!!! What’s going on? Uh oh… I think I might be going there in March!”

And that was it. Central Asia became my first choice for my missions trip. And lo and behold I was chosen for the team. And now I sometimes tear up when I think about this trip. I’ve never been so far east. I’ve never been in a Buddhist area. It feels abundantly too good to be true, or so good it must be true. haha. I feel exquisitely honored to be going to this region and to become part of her bright future.

Once there,
I will be investing in the lives of forerunners in remote Buddhist areas. The trip will be from March 25-April 8.

I am full of expectation for a radical explosion across the heavens and through the earth in Central Asia! Central Asia is part of Jesus’ beautiful bride!!!!!! Yahoooooo!

UPDATE 02/11/11 THUS FAR,

$1784.50 raised

$965.50 due February 18

TOTAL COST: $2,750.

If you would like to be a part of the group hug around Central Asia, you can make a tax-deductible gift here:
https://www.ibssm.org/?action=donate&target=missions&student_id=209452

I also need $193.01 immediately to renew my passport. If you want to give toward that, email me and I will send you my home address. Thanks!

If you’d like to join the facebook group, you can do so here:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=313858951906&ref=ts

THANK YOU for supporting me in my journey

and for loving the people of Central Asia!


There’s going to be a wedding!

Central Asia will be there!

Underwater Life

promise-y fish in the Red Sea, Israel

What if you were on a fishing boat on the ocean and suddenly the water’s surface opened its mouth and a scuba diver popped up and said,

“Hey, we’re having a party down here, wanna come?”

Would you go? I mean, if you instantly knew how to scuba and you had the gear?

Sometimes, I feel like I live underwater. Other times I am nearly convinced of it. I love my home under the sea. I swim deep into darkness and I find secrets. Sometimes I meet colorful fish in the midst of their own family gatherings and sometimes I meet grey eels living in loneliness and defensiveness. I look at all of them with curiosity and wonder. I travel with God’s hand leading me. The creases in His hand press against the cracks in mine. The roads of my life blending with every road ever.

raaaaaaaaaaaaar! cried the creepy slithery creature with a tiny alligator/eel head.


I have great chats with huge lobsters, feeling their way around with their massive television antennae. I read books leaned up against firm, but sensitive coral. I float through the Bible with each blink because the glory is palpable and visible and stunning. I pull ancient maps from brass tubes in shipwrecks. I see the red “X” where hope is buried, where treasure waits, and I resolve to pick up where that captain left off. The passage of time, the waiting of the vast treasure, does not diminish my expectation. If I remember how the nightly news reports that particular treasure’s discovery is a lost cause, I am not deterred in my pursuit, but instead inspired. There is a reason we have the phrase “worth fighting for.” It is because we know that for massive victories, there will be a massive fight. It might be a fight won through rest, praise, and trust, but it is still a fight. It might be a fight won by angels cheered on by the hearts of men, but it is still a fight. It might be a fight to drive lame enemies off of something that already belongs to you, but it is still a fight. In fact, the main fight may actually be the first one: believing the thing IS worth fighting for.

the zebra of the underwater zoo and me in the Red Sea

So, fins on, I’m swimming.

And I’m inviting you to the underwater festivities.

 

In the Caribbean I got to drive the wreckage of a motor boat on a long journey into the oceans of my imagination, where the water is even warmer than the Caribbean; and the fish play musical instruments. skillfully.

P.S. I added new music to the sidebar on my blog’s home page – outrageous hope you can download & sing along to.

My Blog’s 2010 Social Life

The technological marvel that is WordPress sent me an email with my blog stats for last year. It’s intriguing and I’m encouraged that many people drank of the golden nectar that sprouts in heaven and flowers in my life on earth. haha. Thanks for stopping by my little house in DigitalLand. There is always a throw blanket to wrap yourself in and a warm fire to heat and inspire your most exorbitantly extravagant dreams.

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The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Fresher than ever.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 1,800 times in 2010. That’s about 4 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 29 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 42 posts. There were 49 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 127mb. That’s about 4 pictures per month.

The busiest day of the year was April 9th with 60 views. The most popular post that day was why it is important to raise the dead.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, en.wordpress.com, mail.yahoo.com, mail.live.com, and blogger.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for bride-to-be paralyzed fingers collarbone, selling poetry on etsy, lovesick kim walker albums, love poems, and new jesus culture album.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

why it is important to raise the dead April 2010
3 comments

2

VICTORY – something I’m wildly excited about! August 2010

3

my ♥beat March 2009

4

I need a miracle! Isn’t that exciting? August 2010
2 comments

5

Deaf Ears Opened: an oldie but a goodie September 2010

Streeeetching past disappointment

 

Some of the most defining and determining moments in our lives are the moments when we decide how to deal with disappointment. We either get weary and leave open the doors of our souls for dissatisfaction and unbelief to come in OR we resolutely shake off the experience, close the doors, and move forward DARING to hold on to hope.

In these pivot points we set the tone for the rest of our lives.

Onward and upward is the choice of brave hearts.

Sometimes the discipline of choosing belief is excruciatingly painful. Eustace says in the latest Chronicles of Narnia film, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, when describing how Aslan (the God-figure) brought him in an instant from the transition of a dragon-body back to his human state, “It was really painful, but in a good way – like having a thorn removed from your foot.” It is in the choosing, despite the cost of comfort, that the great sloughing off occurs. It is in the yanking through a narrow spot that the refining happens.

It is in the conviction toward joy when it is expensive, that heavenly habits are formed.

I like heavenly habits. And really, I’m much too smitten with the Holy Spirit to hop out of the reformation-mobile and establish a “healthy” distance from the Holy Spirit. Yuck. That sounds entirely horrible.

The last few months ripe in growth, have also contained backroads of *ouch* and *aaaaaaaargh!* I’ve had thyroid disease since I was seven and though it is normally stable with medication there have been times – like when I moved to Israel in 2006 – that my body goes out of whack. I’ve been prayed for dozens and dozens of times. I know God heals. I know healing is easy from heaven’s perspective and healing is our inheritance on earth. In the journey of the last few years I’ve seen hundreds of people healed through my own hands. I rarely felt bitter that my own healing hadn’t come. I just love seeing people healed and happy; and I know my own healing is en route. Well, in the last several months I have really focused on healing for my thyroid and I’ve seen measures of breakthrough. I’ve also had powerful encounters with God: I’ve been tackled in my bedroom; I’ve spent hours on the floor outside the healing rooms at church after going out in the Spirit; I’ve had people approach me with profound words of knowledge and pray for me; I’ve collapsed under the power of His Presence here and there and everywhere.  And the healing has yet to show up on earth. In the interim I’ve walked through lethargy, facial swelling, intestinal issues, slow metabolism, and a litany of other not-so-pretty symptoms. In time a doctor’s appointment, a blood test, and a fresh prescription have brought balance and removed most symptoms, but I am still really excited to be healed one day soon.

I’m not sharing any of that for pity. I hate pity. Compassion is fine, but pity is unhelpful. I prefer advocacy and a heavenly perspective. I’m sharing because there is a long-held awareness in my life that in my honesty others find strength and inspiration. I’m sharing because as the New Year pokes through the sky tonight, we need to choose to let GO of the old and grab a hold of the new. We need to issue a rally cry to everyone that JESUS IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!! And we will flourish as we let go of unanswered questions, confusion, and fear; and dive into the syrupy Presence of the One who understands ALL. What an honor to have a best friend who knows everything, sees outside of time, and LOVES beyond measure!

Right now we could choose to focus on what is not. We could stare at lack. We could grumble. We could be self-focused. We could be fearful that we will be terminally disappointed. And we could miss the opportunities to love and transform the world around us. We could miss out on the great masterpiece our beautiful Creator is making.

Or we could celebrate every victory, no matter how small. We could fast negativity (as in commit to not say and think negative things). We could speak the truth of God over our lives daily: I am powerful, I am seated with Christ in heavenly places, circumstances are under my feet, sickness flees in my presence. We could make every day a party. We could let loose the shoelaces of our love, toss off our hindrances and dance barefoot!

I have to choose the latter. My heart must have closeness with God. Nothing else will ever persuade me of a greater worth. He’s it. haha. No need to search for the next best thing. He is the always best thing.

So, whoever you are, wherever you are. Shake it off. Whatever you negatively fixate on about 2010, blink it away. Stop thinking about changing your ways and just change them. Be YOU. You can do it. You were born to succeed! You were designed to live an outrageously wonderful life so full of love and power that the whole universe awakens in awe to your beauty.

Ezekiel 16:9-14 paints a gorgeous image of us redeemed and beautified by our Husband,

“I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put sandals of fine leather on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD.”

We have been lavished with salvation and beauty – so much beauty the nations are in awe. We have a choice of what to do with that beauty. In Ezekiel, the woman ( Jerusalem), squanders the love by throwing her attentions and her affections other places. Let’s be the woman who shows the nations their own beauty and lavishes them with the same love that brought us into salvation and wholeness.

Let’s stretch. Let’s grow.

2011, HERE WE GROW!!!!!!!

hahahaha!!!

I love all of you (even the internet wanderers who followed the yellow brick road here that I don’t know personally)!

I recommend listening to two teachings in the box.net on the left side bar of my blog: parts 1 & 2 of “Living Un-Offended at God” by Bill Johnson. ENJOY!!! Get radical with HOPE!

Happy NEW-EST YEAR!!!

You have a destiny and a purpose!

p.s. As my sister Dori is going to India in 4 days to work in a restoration house with survivors of the sex trade for 3 months, this form of slavery is on the forefront of my mind.

(Her blog: http://pinkdor.wordpress.com/ )

We must be courageous and set the captives free. How about Isaiah 61 as a New Year’s Resolution!?! Let’s eradicate disease, slavery, and darkness from the planet! As you link with heaven’s faith, here’s music to believe by: http://www.exoduscry.com/ I especially like tracks 3 & 10. )